Hillary Clinton- Portrait of an Average American. Really?

Well the Democrats are still slogging it out for the nomination.  I say, hasn’t it been entertaining?

Did you see the news yesterday?  Hillary spent part of her day trying to demonstrate she’s one of us.  She did so by commuting to work with an average joe.  Poor fella!  Didn’t he realize he was placing himself in the line of fire?  After all, the nefarious snipers of Bosnia missed their target way back yonder in Hillary’s re-living of history.  For all we know they are still lurking around the bushes, like savage predators, hell-bent on bringing down their prey.  I guess it’s a good thing we’re still paying for Hillary to be protected by the Secret Service.

Speaking of the Secret Service.  Hillary has trained them well in the noble art of multi-tasking.  She made that much clear yesterday when her motorcade/entourage of average Americans, their bodyguards and the press-in-tow stopped for fuel.  She had no idea how to pump the gas.  When asked “Why?” she admitted it’s been so long since she’s had pump gas for herself  (something any average American can do in their sleep) that she’s forgotten how.  She then said the Secret Service pumps her gas for her.  Way to go Hillary!  Remember, during her first term in office the Secret Service refused to carry her bags.  Apparently, since then, she has succeeded in breaking their spirits and house training them.  Now they even pump her gas.  I wonder if they check the oil and wash the windshield as she reclines in air conditioned splendor on her average American rump in her armor plated sedan?

Really I do worry about her though.  Gas-gate causes me to wonder if Hillary is exhibiting signs of the early onset of dementia.  Look, I’ve been pumping gas since the seventies.  All across the nation.  Pardon me, but gas pumping technology hasn’t really changed all that much.  Unless you’re losing your marbles.  In Hillary’s defense, however, perhaps in her gas pumping days average Americans simply had to will the fuel into their vehicles. Or maybe they had to use some sort of barbaric foot pump.  Or maybe Hillary simply confused air pumps for gas pumps.  She does have a difficult time with complicated machines doesn’t she?

For example, while her average joe/newest minion was filling the truck she sauntered into the store for an expresso of some sort.  Just like us.  Only problem was the machine was smarter than her.  She just didn’t seem able to comprehend that pushing the big green button, strategically placed by the manufacturer (with instructions), would fill her cup with hot goo.  I confess- I felt sorry for her.  But it raises grave doubts as to whether her oft repeated claim to be “ready on day one” is really true.  I can see it now- at some point she could relapse into being an average American again and try to do something for herself.  Like get a cup of coffee.  Heaven help us!  When she does folks will burst into the Oval Office to ask her what she did.  She’ll say, “I pushed the big green button for coffee.”  They’ll say, “Well, congratulations Madam President you just vaporized Africa.”

When they finally left the accursed gas station I’m surprised Hillary didn’t try to use a hand crank to start the truck.

She did do one thing that rendered her average during her escapade.  Instead of talking to the average joe on their average commute to work she was seen gaily chattering away- to someone else- on a cell phone.  Ugh!  I don’t find that in the least bit endearing.  Or vote inducing.  When my wife does that to me I give her the silent treatment for ignoring me- a live human being- occupying the same space- at the same time.  I love my wife but if she was running for president she wouldn’t get my vote unless she promised to never do that again.  And she would have to promise me the kind of Secret Service treatment Hillary receives on a daily basis.  I’m tired of being average.

Ready on day one?  We’ll see.

P.S.  Don’t feel too bad for my wife.  She often can’t tell I’m giving her the silent treatment.

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